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Joe Gidjunis: As an '80s kid, I enjoyed the best toys and TV shows, and I experienced the internet's arrival firsthand.

In 1993, my mom purchased our first PC with its 14.4 modem and limited internet hours.

Back then, America Online reigned supreme, and users averaged just 7 hours a month online.

male: You've got mail.

Joe: Now we're online 7 hours a day.

We hoped the internet would revolutionize knowledge, but the reality became complicated and troubling.

I didn't realize how much, even, until a middle school incident occurred nearby.

The New York Times described this as the first mass social media attack by students against teachers.

At Great Valley Middle School, students created fake TikTok accounts impersonating their teachers by misusing photos from other social media platforms.

At first, student comments appeared typical of preteens venting about their teachers.

Growing up, who didn't make fun of a teacher, or two, or ten?

The dynamic isn't new, but in my generation, a funny note or drawing shared between five friends in homeroom would typically be forgotten about by lunch.

This snowballed, and fake accounts soon were filled with innuendo, racist memes, homophobia, and fake hookups.

The educators were unaware for weeks these derogatory public accounts existed.

How did this get out of control?

Nikki Salvatico: I'm gonna be honest with you, I don't know.

Social media isn't new, and we've had problems in the past when Facebook was first getting big.

Joe: This is Nikki.

She's an educator and teacher's union president in Great Valley where she's heard every detail.

Nikki: I don't know that we can say that students that are in a middle school age, or any age, realizes what impact this makes on people.

I think what happened, knowing kids, they're curious, they thought they were gonna be funny, and then, with social media, when you're impersonating a teacher and creating a page, it was beyond shocking.

It's difficult to think that the kids that you love and teach would do something like this that would impact your family and your reputation.

Joe: With the devices that we're giving our kids today, do you think they're equipped to handle them properly?

Nikki: Not fully.

It's like when you're teaching your toddler how to eat, right?

You're first teaching them to eat with their fingers, and then you might hand them a plastic fork.

I'm not handing them a steak knife at 2 years.

We need ways to educate the kids on not only how to use these devices, how to stay safe with them.

It's our social media platforms that have to be aware of this, that kids are getting through and using their platforms inappropriately, and it is our legislators-- Joe: They'll have to want to stop it too.

Nikki: Yes, it's our legislators and it's every community member because no one's immune from anything.

Joe: I'm not here to throw Great Valley schools nor its students under the bus.

As a middle schooler desperate to obtain an ounce of popularity, I bet I would have viewed these fake accounts too.

I think my mother raised me better not to add fuel to the fire, but I can't rule out my 12-year-old self being an absolute idiot.

The desire to prank a teacher isn't new, but the tools at our kids's disposal today are more intense and sophisticated, and we've done a poor job setting acceptable standards.

I felt overwhelmed as a parent trying to keep up, and if you think this is bad, artificial intelligence is making it easier to conjure deep fakes and altered imagery.

The more I've researched media literacy, the more digital manipulation and influence has become my greatest parental concern.

We need to be better, and I know we can get there.

How do we teach this generation to navigate the flood of information bombarding their young brains, and build a critical eye?

Where does a healthy balance of privacy and safety meet?

Because I don't want our kids becoming online trolls, adding fuel to the fire, and I don't think I'm alone.

This is "Grown Up Dad."

Joe: Last year, court filings from a two-year investigation by 14 attorneys general revealed documents accusing TikTok of deceptive practices designed to addict young users.

female: "All it takes to hook an average user is viewing 260 videos, as short as eight seconds, thus in under 35 minutes, an average user is likely to become addicted to the platform."

Joe: Research confirms our kids receive a constant diet of targeted content through social media apps.

For girls, algorithms often push beauty focused videos and allow appearance altering filters.

TikTok's algorithm even prioritize more physically attractive users, reducing the frequency of others.

For boys, seemingly innocent sports or gaming videos frequently lead to troubling manosphere and misogynistic content.

On TikTok, it took just 9 minutes to offer troubling content including explicitly anti-feminist and anti-LGBTQ videos.

Even more extreme messaging appeared within 23 minutes.

And YouTube shorts, similar to TikTok, recommended problematic videos after just 8 minutes.

These online challenges have upped the parenting difficulty level for all of us, but social media isn't the only issue.

As media becomes more polarized, teaching critical thinking is essential.

I reached out to a friend, Patrick Murphy, a former congressman and undersecretary of the US Army.

He's a media professional who hosted his own show on MSNBC as a frequent contributor on Fox News and he co-hosts a wealth management show on Yahoo Finance.

And I picked a hell of a day to interview him.

Halfway through the interview, we paused.

Fox News called to prepare him for a live spot in 20 minutes because Ukrainian President Zelenskyy and President Trump just finished a chaotic and antagonistic meeting in the White House.

What was supposed to secure American aid in the fight against Russia for mineral rights devolved into a diplomatic failure.

Patrick Murphy: But we got to remember, just a week ago, Martha, was the three-year anniversary of Russia illegally invading Ukraine.

There's 42 million people, there's a free country, and they invaded them.

They've lost tens of thousands of their own people.

You know, Martha, this isn't, like, about like a news clip or about like TV, this is life or death.

This is David versus Goliath.

Joe: Where do you think our generation is still getting our news and where do you think your kids are getting the news?

Patrick: Well, our kids are just like most Americans.

They're getting their news from their screen.

Unfortunately, for far too many of them, they're getting from TikTok.

Joe: How do I help my kid understand what's going to be presented to him?

Patrick: Well, first off, we have to understand there's these outside influences in America.

So China, Russia, Iran, North Korea, and then extreme terrorists, they are spending tens of millions of dollars to divide America from within.

So they're putting out there, especially on social media, and so, for me, I understand my kids are gonna see some of that stuff and not have the experience that I have because I've deployed overseas and lived overseas, and they know that they can always come to me and and talk to me about it.

We have conversations.

It is very much when we're having dinner at the table, when we're driving, no phones, we're talking, and that includes me too, for the record, right?

We're all put on this earth to make this world a better place, and that means that it starts in our own community, our own family, and for our country, and beyond.

Joe: What does truth mean to you today, and especially in this media landscape?

Patrick: Well, some people out there think that their opinion is true, and it might be truth to them, but it doesn't make it the truth, right?

So if you're not reading things and going to different news sites, if you're just getting one version of things, you're doing yourself a disservice.

The whole point is about having the intellectual humility to learn from others.

Joe: How do you have a conversation so often with people who you fundamentally disagree with and how do you know when to engage?

Patrick: Yeah, well, first, I love, I love my country.

I love America, right?

And so my job is to communicate to the American people the values that I hold dear, that we hold dear as Americans.

I think people, whether it's Fox News or MSNBC, get wrapped around a certain perspective, and they gotta argue and fight and that's not my jam.

My jam is what am I gonna do to let my kids know the values that America stands for?

Why do I go on Fox News?

Why do I have the debates?

Because I fundamentally disagree with some of the guests that they have on, and I'm willing to go toe-to-toe with them, and I think my perspective needs to be heard, even if that audience might not agree with me.

Joe: That's really great.

Do you think this is how people in the next generation are still gonna be getting their news, and how do you help get the right facts to people ten years from now?

Patrick: I think we're seeing, you know, diversification on that.

We're also seeing a lot more folks that go, and just go to news sources that's gonna complement what they already believe, and I would say to my fellow Americans, read other things than beside that what makes you feel good.

Joe: I like that.

Patrick, thank you, brother.

Patrick: You too, man.

Joe: Watching him respond reminded me of the courage needed to engage respectfully with opposing views, crucial in a healthy democracy.

Facts and truth matter to understand our world.

That's why it shocked me when Meta announced replacing its Facebook fact checkers with community notes, deepening my concern about misinformation.

I struggle with balancing my son's privacy and safety, and seeking guidance, I met Hari, father of four and founder of Aura, the parental safety app which works to identify subtle behavioral changes in our kids.

What do you think we should understand about misinformation, manipulation, and just the bombardment of messages that we all get today, both ourselves and our kids.

Hari Ravichandran: If you think about why somebody puts out misinformation, it's because there's some demand somewhere inside the ecosystem that somebody's going to ask me a question online.

If you can capture that demand, you could potentially monetize it, making sure that kids understand that not all information is created equal, and not all information is truth, and being able to dissect between what's credible and what's trustworthy.

Joe: And what do you do, I think, with your own kids?

What--and obviously different ages, you're gonna tell them different things, how do you help them navigate this world with, in a way, it's own kind of healthy skepticism?

Hari: The way I think about it is, you know, you know, if your kids are learning to drive a car, you take them through the steps, right?

Observing their behavior online can be a really helpful hint because you get a lot of clues about what they're actually doing, that then can be a good conversation starter to say, "Hey, I noticed that you seem very interested in this.

You know, be sure that you're looking out for these kinds of things online."

Joe: I think about, I think about the parental controls that do exist today.

Why are these controls not really that effective?

Why are they still so difficult to implement?

Hari: I think the notion of parental controls is just a bit antiquated, to be honest.

Like, your kids don't wanna be controlled, they wanna basically make decisions on their own, and so this notion of being able to control a kid is not actually a real thing, because really, at the end of the day, what are you trying to do?

You're trying to make sure that these kids have a healthy relationship with technology when they're out in the free world, they know how to dissect good and bad information.

How much time is good online?

And so forth.

Joe: And actually, too, it's like I--look, I don't want to hover, but it is the wild west it feels out there, and I'm trying to help him, you know, understand his own privacy, and I want to give it to him, but also guide him because, like as you said, like, it's just there's so much happening in there.

What was the impetus for you to be like, "We need to create an app that helps parents understand these issues"?

Hari: I didn't quite understand this until we went through a personal event in our family.

One of my kids was struggling a lot with mental health issues.

We spent a lot of time understanding, you know, how she's spending time online.

It became very clear that she was actually struggling through a lot of things that she was having a hard time verbalizing, like she she didn't wanna talk about it because most kids, they don't wanna burden their parents, they don't wanna say things that they think could be difficult for them to process.

So once we got a glimpse into that, we said, "Okay, we understand what's going on with this kid."

So it's taken us some time, but she's doing really well now.

It's taken, it's taken a few years.

Joe: That's really great.

Hari: During that journey, lack of information was my biggest enemy at that point, because really, you know, like, how do you get this information?

These kids are on the phones for 8 hours.

They have many, many, many apps they're using, you know, and I hear lots of parents that I that I speak with saying, "Oh, like when my kid goes to bed, I go through their phone, you know, for 45 minutes to an hour, and it's like looking for a needle in the haystack.

I don't know what I'm looking for, but I wanna make sure they're safe."

So that's was a big impetus for us to say, "Look, can we actually help these parents by giving them the tools so they can identify both whether the kid is safe, what are they doing online all day long, are there behavioral patterns that are changing?"

Joe: I'm really glad that the situation really improves with the family, that's really great.

Joe: Hari's insights eased my guilt about monitoring my son's online activities, helping me balance safety with privacy.

I headed next to New York City because I needed to take this new advice and understand how families can practically use this at home.

Seeking perspective, I turned to Merve, a common sense media, who reminded me there's hope because of what we parents can accomplish.

How would you define media literacy?

Merve Lapus: It's both the traditional sense of understanding how media works, how to really break down the different components of it, recognizing that there are some imbalances potentially, and how media can present itself now.

Joe: With these imbalances, with misinformation, with manipulation, what does common sense recommend to understand what we're seeing and how to evaluate it?

Merve: I think what we try to encourage kids and educators to do is try to dive deeper into trying to understand why a piece of content was created, and understanding where that intention comes from is gonna be incredibly important for us, especially for our young kids, to empower their own agency as they grow up and that's probably the heart of the work.

How do we develop strong agency so that they can feel more thoughtful in the way that they're making decisions moving forward.

Joe: What is the information that is being delivered to our kids that they're being bombarded with constantly?

Merve: Yeah, so I think the reality is our kids are being bombarded with messages that take their attention the most, and sometimes these messages are actually messages that are uncomfortable, but because it makes them like, "What is this?"

that attention says, "Feed me more of this."

Joe: What's the one thing you wish every parent knew about media literacy and what they should be looking for if they're--in their kids and their families?

Merve: So I think what I hope every parent considers is making this a part of day to day conversation, not just bringing it up when they've got a problem, not just bringing it up when they heard something, not just bringing it up when they feel like they're afraid their kid might have got into something, but making a consistent conversation.

That way when something does hit the fan and you do need to kind of get into a mode of like, "Let's talk."

they come to them first, and that's gonna be a huge unlock.

Joe: I found his dad insights helpful, and I asked him to continue with me on the streets of New York City.

Joe: So what do you think fact and truth mean for our kids today compared to what we had growing up?

Merve: I mean, it's, it's much harder now than it was for us.

The reality is they've identified that their news, their information comes from the spaces they spend their time in.

In the social media space, it doesn't really matter.

Everything is framed as true to them now, right?

And how do we empower them to ask questions as they move forward versus just accepting it.

Joe: I know, I was giving a critical thought, trying to give a little bit of healthy skepticism too.

Honestly, I'm a, I'm a trusting guy.

I'm a good guy, try to be nice to people, but I wanna make sure that I give him some of that that street smarts about even this content, right?

Merve: It's incredibly important because I think the the biggest fear that I have is they become overly critical versus, you know, I want them to really look at that balance between critical and cynical, right?

There's a point where we want them to really think thoughtfully, but then there's also that point is if they believe everything is fake, then nothing is true.

Right, so there's the extreme-- Joe: So the pendulum goes the other direction too, right?

Merve: A hundred percent.

Joe: You want a hot dog?

Merve: Sure.

Joe: You're in New York, right?

You got to.

Merve: I mean, why not?

Joe: Can we just get two hot dogs?

I think about now what I'm trying to do with Gabe, you know, like, how do I help him understand, you know, taking that pause?

How do I understand just, you know, everything when I'm not around?

I think that's mostly what I'm concerned about because, you know, when we definitely let him watch YouTube, but it's on the big, you know, family TV.

You know, there are definitely moments where we hear something, we're like, "Hey, not that channel," you know?

Yeah, not that video anymore.

He knows now he's like, "All right, I heard it too."

like we're gonna switch it to something else.

But it's really important to try to get through to him some of these, I think that that's that skepticism, and like finding that balance because I know that he's gonna be, he has a ton of this time to watch things when I'm not around, and that's what I am really most worried about.

Merve: I mean, I think that's the most--that's the thing that we wanna try and do is how do we instill some of our own kind of values into the conversation, and not just make it about the tech itself, or the platform itself, but really, what are the values that we have in regards to trust, safety, family?

And how does that represent in the way that we then use technology?

I think this is the important part for families to recognize 'cause some of the overwhelm for families is that, "I don't know enough about this, so I don't talk enough about it."

But I think the reality is we are rooted in our value systems, and the way that we connect with people, the way that we make family a priority, the way that we make happiness or trust a priority, and so to bring that value system into the way that the tool, or the tech, might be presented in your life, really applying that is important, because if you feel that something doesn't--feels off and you're, "Ugh, I don't know if I can trust this," trust your value sort, right?

Same thing with the way that they're interacting doesn't make me feel good, trust in that.

And so you, there is an opportunity that we can all, you know, talk about without knowing all the tech, but we can be there when kids start to feel uncomfortable.

Joe: You know, I really like that, but what I want to also learn is how do I help him understand where the line is, because I feel like just the internet is just completely different than it was for us growing up, you know, like growing up with AOL.

I had a CompuServe account 'cause my mom had a CompuServe.

I'm like-- I'm gonna really date myself there-- what, like, what you can do now, I think is just so much exponentially different from our generation and things have really changed, and we're supposed to be the ones who've had this technology growing up, and I yet--I hear I'm feeling out of control sometimes with it, you know, and trying to find a good way to tell him, you know, how do we like, "Yeah, that's too far."

but like, why is this too far, why is that not too far?

Merve: Sure, I mean, it is important to know the age and stage of our kids, just kind of what is appropriate for them to talk about at this point?

But you can talk about, like, niceness without having to go deep into bullying, right?

It's an opportunity to be able to root back again to like fundamentals for how we expect each other to be treated, how you want to be treated.

Joe: All right, like what specifically are you saying to help do that?

Are you just, are you creating that environment you think beforehand, or are you asking them to think of certain questions?

Or I guess it just depends on the age.

Merve: I mean, there's obviously situations where something's happened and you want to be able to kind of talk through, "I heard that this happened in school, how did you feel about it?"

Like, "It wasn't about you, but what if it was?

What do you think you--what do you think you would need to do?"

I think part of it is also how do we prepare them for the reality that it might happen, and I think there is this fear that we do hear.

And it's like, if we talk about it too much, are we positioning them to get involved in something like this, right?

I think the more we can just have the conversation, and again, not root it in something that actually happened, it's an opportunity for them to recognize, "Oh, we can talk about these things, and I'm not gonna get in trouble for them."

Joe: Merve showed me there's a way to navigate this, but it became clear, I needed to hear real stories directly from teens.

I met Paula, Maya, and their mom, Stephanie, at their home in the Philadelphia suburbs.

Joe: What social media do you both use the most right now?

Paula Perez: I would say Instagram, TikTok, and Snapchat.

Joe: Okay, in that order for you?

Okay, and what do you use?

Maya Perez: My order would probably be, it's the same thing, but my order would probably be Snapchat, Instagram, TikTok.

Joe: Okay, well, so with everything on social media that you are seeing, that you are scrolling through, you're being bombarded with, how are you mostly engaging and telling if that is, you know, useful information for you?

Maya: I feel like it really comes down to like if the source is reliable or not, which can be hard to tell sometimes.

Joe: So, what do you go by now?

Or what is suspicious even to you now?

Maya: Like every--like really everything's like suspicious at this point, like I trust, like, like news sites, Paula: News sites, but you have to be careful with bias, but news sites, yeah.

Maya: And then Google is always a trusty friend if I don't know something's true.

Joe: Okay, why is Google trusting in your mind?

Maya: Because-- wait, that's a great question actually.

I feel like I was just always like-- that's a really great question.

I feel like I was always just like brought up to think that like if you look it up on Google, like that's, like, true.

Joe: Okay, yeah, we got to challenge that even more today too because we don't know where Google's pulling that from, right?

Paula: Especially the AI stuff.

Joe: That's the AI stuff, right?

That's what it gives you first now.

What are you most concerned about as a mom in terms of the internet and what they're using?

Stephanie Perez: How they portray themselves to the world.

I, that's one of my biggest concerns.

I think--so we do talk about it.

It's like, "Okay, well what does this particular scene say about you, whether or not it's something you're doing or your friend is doing behind you.

Joe: Do you think that truth and facts have a different meaning for us than for you guys in your generation?

You think truth has changed?

Paula: Mm, I think we have to be more critical of what we deem the truth.

Like what we find out, especially online of, like, if you just see this article, or like you see this post, do you really believe it?

Joe: How do you decide what's truth, and how do you decide how to be a good person online?

Paula: I think keeping yourself educated on how to, like, tell when it's a fake account or when it's a real account, and how to seek out truthful news, I think that's very important, and then how in terms of how to be a good digital citizen is like how you're presenting yourself out online, what information are you putting out, are you okay with other people seeing that, even if it's a stranger, even if it's your boss, your teacher, like how are you presenting yourself to the world?

Joe: I'm most worried about when I can't be there as a parent, you know, and not just what they're--what he's seeing, what he's consuming, and the messaging he's gonna get when we're not there.

Maya: Right, and that's a completely valid concern to have.

Like I'm concerned like for when and if I become a parent, like, for the same exact thing.

Paula: I feel like it like-- teach your child, like, the principles of like, "What you're consuming is not everything's going to be truthful," and then you have to like trust that they'll remember that.

Joe: That's a great first lesson.

That's a great first lesson.

Joe: We live in a moment flooded by dangerous messaging, targeted content and digital manipulation.

Despite this, Paula and Maya gave me hope.

These two have lived through the worst of the internet, yet they're thoughtful, have a healthy skepticism, and want to make the world better.

It's easy to feel overwhelmed as parents, but within this complexity lies an opportunity to build skepticism and critical thinking in ourselves and our kids.

Visiting a school teaching media literacy reinforced my optimism.

At Tanner Duckrey, a Philadelphia K to 8 public school, third graders were learning to recognize manipulated images as part of the curriculum provided by Common Sense Media.

Joe: You were bringing up a great lesson today on photo manipulation, and why was that an important lesson for the kids to learn?

Shinika St.

Cyr: Last week we did a lesson on the reasons why people manipulate photos.

A lot of students now are on social media all the time, so what we're trying to teach them is how to recognize things that are manipulated, that may not be real, which then ties into anything that they're doing with research, right?

We have to make sure that we're teaching our students how to find sources.

In third grade today, we did a lesson on how easy it is to manipulate a photo where they put a plane in the foreground-- Joe: And it's really easy.

Shinika: It was super easy.

A lot of them were remarking, too, how easy it was, but they had a lot of fun with it.

Joe: You were telling me earlier, too, that a lot of the issues that you have you're dealing with are actually coming from--they're initiating online.

David Cohen: Yes, actually, the majority of the stuff that goes on here is things that take place online, films that are put up, with post that are made of kids that may or may not be real, but 90% of our fights are dealing with things happening offline, and the films that are being sent.

And again, it's really sad for the kids 'cause it follows you, it keeps on going.

So if you get into a fight once, people see it over and over and over again.

They have to relive that fight, and certain times it's not real, it's fake.

So we're trying to show our students don't see--everything that you see online is not real.

Joe: Seeing this gave me joy.

The Internet is instant knowledge and communication, yet we've lost the simplicity of knowing what to trust.

Our kids need guidance, not through constant suspicion, by showing them how to apply the smell test.

Is this true?

Like Merve said, parents must regularly dialogue with our kids so they feel safe and ready to open up.

Media literacy is a consistent conversation rooted in family values of trust, safety, and respect.

I'm also taking Hari's advice, reminding me to evaluate online needs with my son so we can build his independence and remain his greatest supporter.

And I'm thankful for Patrick, who demands critical thinking from various viewpoints.

Let's ensure our kids grow up equipped not just to survive in the digital age, but to thrive as thoughtful, responsible citizens.

Let's embrace skepticism but balance it with hope.

This is "Grown Up Dad."

Paula: I feel like you see other people doing it, and it's like, you trust that person 'cause you watch them online.

Joe: I appreciate you making me now have to talk about the tide pod challenge.

Paula: That's not a thing anymore.

That's not a thing anymore.

Joe: And in Philly Stadium-- thank you very much--it's a huge thing 'cause they have the buy-one-get-one now.

It used to be Dollar Dog.

Yeah, they used to have Dollar Dog nights.

They got rid of that, sadly.

male: Got to.

One more time.

Joe: There we go, no hot dog.

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